Slotback Right Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 Like Darter Blue, I am assuming that she left you. If that is the case, here's the best advice I can give you: Don't chase after her, begging her to take you back. You've got to walk like a man. Chicks dig emotionally strong men. Let her know that you still love her, but that you're letting her go. Wish her the best, and tell her, "You know how to reach me, if you find you've made a mistake." Then turn and walk away. Then...assume she's never coming back. That way you'll get over her faster. If she does come back, it'll be a pleasant, unexpected surprise...and if she doesn't...well, that's what you expected anyway, so you can handle it. Keep busy...keep your focus on whatever you are doing in the present. No dwelling on the past. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChimpGrip Posted August 11, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 Thank you everyone for the support. I will answer the posts/questions asap. It's a long story and a huge unknown. Still together I guess - said she's willing to work on it (although I think she's emotionally broken up with me). I'm just going to take it a day at a time and see what happens, although I am prepared that on any given day - today, tomorrow, or even next week - she will straight up tell me we're done. I am stubborn and hard-headed and just can't let go yet, I know we can be happy together. I am willing to make changes (healthy changes) to myself as she did for me. She is in an emotional rut, which probably made this 10x worse and led me on. But now that I know, I am hoping for the chance to make it right. On one hand, I will believe that there is still a tiny bit of hope and chance that it can be turned around, while at the same time work on coming to terms that its over - maybe just for now or forever. If that makes any sense. I am shocked and saddened it has come to this. One of the things that really bothered her she had kept pent up inside. I said over and over again throughout the relationship to come forward and talk if something bothers you. I always did, she rarely did. I think its totally unfair to have waited until now to reveal these concerns/troubles she has about us. As stated above, I can't believe this is the situation I'm in. Just a few weeks ago, she spoke of how she cherished what we have and how she loves me for who I am. Within a couple of days after she said the aforementioned, things quickly began falling apart because of grave concerns over her dog. What was a beautiful, healthy thing (or appeared to be) caught fire and began to burn down. She started talking to me differently, said some things that were hurtful (probably fueled by her depression) and at one point last week, I didn't know if I was ever going to see her again. But, I told her that I would like to be able to see her to talk about a brutal conversation we had last week. So I got to, this past weekend. Times were great. It felt NORMAL and healthy. There were moments of time where concerns of her dog surfaced and she lost her appetite once again, but overall it was a wonderful weekend. We even talked to each other as normal. Everything was good up until sunday night, when we finished our talk up. I was confident and believed that I was going to win, that our relationship would be on track back to normalcy and that things would be fine. Not the way it went. Next morning, she was stressed out and hardly said bye and wouldn't kiss me back. She did say on sunday night lets work on it and see where it goes. Said she can't guarantee anything and she isn't sure if her feelings will come back, but I suppose there's never a "guarantee" of anything in life. Not guaranteed we'll wake up tomorrow. Again, I am stubborn and it's mighty hard for me to just let go. I told her last night that I want to take her up on her offer and work on this with her. That talk and the stress it brought kept me up all night, maybe got two hours of sleep. Since getting to work yesterday, I have been an emotional mess and can't stop thinking about how much I am going to miss what he had going. All the places we went to, things we experienced, the trips we had planned, all the laughs we shared together, her family, her dog, how we use to talk to each other, and so many other things. Its difficult to grasp how something that brought me so much happiness and all the aforementioned could poof into smoke so quickly and come to an end. Been looking at pictures and items that I've gotten from being with her and listening to certain songs and its crushing me. I just can't stop doing it. more thoughts to come later. I will answer individual posts on here this evening. Thank you again to all who are helpful and supportive in this. Don't know when i'll ever get over it if in fact the door has been closed, my heart hurts and I am exhausted. I'm going to keep praying and try to do what Jesus said, "Do not be afraid, just believe" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I AM IRONMAN Posted August 11, 2020 Report Share Posted August 11, 2020 Brother. This night be a wait and see scenario...it sucks but after re reading your last post this might be the best option...Or could be a rip the band aid off scenario as well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChimpGrip Posted August 14, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2020 Just an update... feeling much better today and the last two days. I am training myself mentally to be "fine" and "cool" whether it works or not. I have taken note of the many ups and downs that come with both scenarios. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I AM IRONMAN Posted August 14, 2020 Report Share Posted August 14, 2020 1 minute ago, ChimpGrip said: Just an update... feeling much better today and the last two days. I am training myself mentally to be "fine" and "cool" whether it works or not. I have taken note of the many ups and downs that come with both scenarios. Great to hear brother..everyday will get a little easier 👍 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChimpGrip Posted August 16, 2020 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2020 On 8/11/2020 at 1:41 PM, I AM IRONMAN said: Brother. This night be a wait and see scenario...it sucks but after re reading your last post this might be the best option...Or could be a rip the band aid off scenario as well. I think you’re right. Based on what I’m doing right now, it’s a healthy indicator that we’re still together. She talks about going to places together again and she invited me over. She did talk about my desire of future travels around the world in a sense that I would be doing it on my own (basically, not with her - which is not how it’s always been. Before this shit storm she would always talk about wanting to go to places in Europe an Asia with me since she’s a devout traveler herself) BUT.... I think that this is something where I have to take one day at a time. Take care of today and tomorrow will come. Not to worry about where we’ll be 1 week, 3 months, or even 6 months away. Right now is all that matters. I hope this approach allows things to come together naturally. Better to do this than to worry about if we’ll be together or not at some point in the future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I AM IRONMAN Posted August 16, 2020 Report Share Posted August 16, 2020 Are you gettin some? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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